As my erotic blog goodgirlturnedslut.blogspot.com kept filling up with my soul business, I decided I might as well make an honest woman of myself and start up this sister blog. You may justifiably ask why it is that I choose to have my soul's business out on the internet. Well, I'm a a ponderer, a thinker, I seek to understand, often too hard. Focusing my mind to wrap this swirl of thoughts into words that might be comprehensible to another human being is incredibly helpful to me. Yes, of course, I could just write a private journal, but actually it's not the same. Knowing that another person, a person I don't even know, may read my words gives it a whole different impetus. I also believe that as human beings we have a deep need to be seen, witnessed, seen for all of who we are. Just the one girl, just the one person. What is more, I love words, I love language, I love taking complex thoughts and feelings and searching for just the right words until I know you can feel what I'm feeling - you can be right there with me and I no longer alone.



Friday 11 June 2010

Day 1* - 6 of 9 :-)

Oodles of follicles yielded 9 happy eggs yesterday! Sounds like they made the consultant work for his money. I'm not surprised, they've always taken that attitude with me. This morning 6 of them have fertilised - my beautiful non-smoking, non-drinking, veggie husband's sperm did a great job (somewhat to his quiet pleasure). From here on, the embryologist will call us everyday to keep us informed of their progress. If they keep growing well we take them through to day 5 on Tuesday. They will then be at blastocyst stage and have an optimum chance of implanting.

I'm still a little tense about their progress, but also very, very pleased! Even if it doesn't all work this cycle, at least we know that the technique works for us in principle, which is more than I was expecting. Patience is one thing I've learnt from this experience. What is more, I've learnt that I'm not always the best judge of when it's the right time for something to happen in my life. If I'd got pregnant quickly and easily four years ago, I would have missed out on so much and I certainly wouldn't be the person I am now. I'd be alright for sure, but I really like THIS version of me.

I could write a lot about the experience of the egg collection day, but I can't see the point. It was quite untraumatic, I slept through the exciting bit and today my ovaries ache (nothing the paracetamol can't deal with). There are plenty of in depth fertility journals out there and they are excellent, helpful and at times traumatic to read. So this is really all I want to say today. 6 out of 9 - fucking well done you guys! Keep on going in that incubator. You have no idea how many people are rooting for you and dying to see what a quirky little gene combo you may turn out to be!

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