Today I found myself huddled in a blanket on a sled pulled by a skidoo flying across a frozen lake through the most spectacular scenery. The sun was on my face, tiny flaces of snow spray hit my skin, my beautiful husband was by my side and I was happy -the kind of happiness that makes my heart bounce excitedly and that can't help but betray itself by spreading that cheshire cat smile all over my face.
So what is it I wondered that brings me this state of bliss? There's beauty, novelty, excitement, then add an ounce of adrenaline and a pinch of physicality. But a recipe just won't do. I'm tentatively ambling my way back into spiritual ways of thinking. It is those things that my soul is calling for, the next step, whatever that may be. I can feel it when it's just right, that free flowing feeling in my chest, that clear "yes" that's reverberating through my core. Some of those steps appear unlikely, unreasonable, but I'm learning to trust their rightness. What else is there to trust, unless I want to find myself in someone else's life? I like this one - even if it bumps up and down like the skidoo hurtling across a rut. Right now there's little to do for some days, nothing but moving my body through the snowy expanse. Soon even the phone signal will peter out into sweet silence. And that, right now, is as it should be.
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