One girl's soul: Day 41 - Egg collection day!

As my erotic blog goodgirlturnedslut.blogspot.com kept filling up with my soul business, I decided I might as well make an honest woman of myself and start up this sister blog. You may justifiably ask why it is that I choose to have my soul's business out on the internet. Well, I'm a a ponderer, a thinker, I seek to understand, often too hard. Focusing my mind to wrap this swirl of thoughts into words that might be comprehensible to another human being is incredibly helpful to me. Yes, of course, I could just write a private journal, but actually it's not the same. Knowing that another person, a person I don't even know, may read my words gives it a whole different impetus. I also believe that as human beings we have a deep need to be seen, witnessed, seen for all of who we are. Just the one girl, just the one person. What is more, I love words, I love language, I love taking complex thoughts and feelings and searching for just the right words until I know you can feel what I'm feeling - you can be right there with me and I no longer alone.

Thursday, 10 June 2010

Day 41 - Egg collection day!

It's still early. I've just had my final glass of water before the surgery, replied to my best friend's warm good luck wishes and now I'm waiting. It's egg collection day. Today we're making babies. That's if all goes well and each of the many little steps required to come together just perfectly does its bit. Wow!

In my mind's image of this morning I definitely didn't expect to feel this excited or this positive. My ambivalence seems to have evaporated and so has my pessimistic defence. I could of course worry about all that may or may not happen, and yes, there is some of that going on, but I keep coming back to the excited feeling in my stomach. Today, we're making babies...